Gumball 2005 story

Friday 13th May

It’s an early start on this, the dreaded date of Friday 13th. The Tristec 308GTO is based in Newcastle-upon-tyne and needs to arrive in Trafalgar Square by 6pm for sign-on at the Trafalgar Hotel. This will be a test in itself as she has been misfiring for the past month when warm. A solution has not been successfully found as yet, although it has been minimised by the combined good work of Italia Autosport (Huddersfield) and Autolink (Newcastle). To add to the challenge Tris must stop off in Buxton to collect co-pilot Mark Anthony (Cov for short). Lets call this an additional 3 hours to the trip.

Good time is made on the drive to Buxton and the engine is running smoothly until the last few miles. The misfire returns. ‘What could it be?’ After a spot of lunch Cov takes the wheel for the next leg of the journey. Following a painful hour behind slow traffic we make good progress on the M1 and stop for fuel on the last station on the M1 just outside of London. We fill up and spot a Caterham 7 parked to the side of the garage with two girls getting ready to set-off. ’I’m glad we aren’t in one of those for the trip; the GTO will be challenging enough’ Cov comments.

As we pull into Trafalgar Square we spot the cars turning into Spring Gardens and follow the queue. As we empty the car outside of the Trafalgar Hotel we see the Cuban Brothers performing in front of the General Lee covered Ferrari 550 LM replica [#1]. This is going to be some rally.

The mundane process or registration is next. As we sit drinking a beer kindly supplied by Laurence and Ant, in the Porsche Cabriolet [#29] Ant has taken from one of his salesmen for the trip, we spot the two girls from the Caterham 7 [#76] parked outside of the petrol station on the M1. ‘I can’t believe you are going to do the trip in the Caterham’. Thankfully all Sue and Kathryn have lost on the drive down from Cumbria is a wing mirror. Not the best start, but it could be worse. We manage to register and collect our goodies, which includes a full set of clothes including shoes and 5 pairs of sunglasses, along with a GPS enabled mobile phone which shows where we are on the Gumball website. Smart.

Gumball DVD Premier

The premier party is fantastic and runs through to the early hours. The Cuban Brothers perform a terrific set, and JK of Jamiroquai gets the whole place jumping. It’s a shame there are only 20 port-a-loos for 4000 people, so we make other arrangements. Can’t wait for the start.

Saturday 14th May

We are told to get the car ready to put on display at 10am in Waterloo Place, so head off to the car park at 9:30am. The car turns over but doesn’t fire. It churns again, but nothing. ‘Maybe it’s flooded now’. We wait 20 mins and try again. Nothing. Oh dear. Without panicking (visibly) Tris walks outside of the car park and calls the RAC. They will be here in 45 minutes. I would be lying if I said I am not sweating at this point. We really need the SL55 as a backup, and are so glad that Terry (Tris’ Dad) has agreed to drive it into Europe ahead of the rally ‘just in case’. It’s a shame we need it before the start of the rally. Argh…..

It is a painful couple of hours before Mark of the RAC finds the fault. We have a dead wire, which feeds the fuse for the ignition and fuel pump. We agree to jump a live wire across from the adjacent fuse within the fuse box, thereby keeping a fuse in line for safety. She starts, and we set off to Waterloo Place. Thank the lord; he must know we plan to travel as Priests as per Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Junior in The Cannonball Run.

Waterloo Place is packed with supporters as we enter. Martin Paul from Tristec and Justin Goult and wife Louisa from the Sunday Times have made the trip to see us off. ’Cheers guys’.

A load of photos are taken and the press particularly appear to like the shot of Cov sat on the bonnet of the GTO, which makes the main Gumball photoset and both the BBC and Daily Mail websites.

The start is delayed 30 minutes, due to the crowds on the streets outside Waterloo Place, however this knowledge does nothing to reduce the impact of crossing the start line. The crowds line the streets for over 2 miles. It looks like The on-board footage from the Catalunya world rally stage, with photographers on the road, jumping back as we drive past. The press informs us that over 250,000 people came to see the start, over twice the number who can attend the British GP at Silverstone. Ken’s idea for a London GP doesn’t sound so wild now.

Once we get onto the M20 we can still see supporters on every bridge across the motorway waving and taking photos. ‘This is MINT’. We make good time to the channel tunnel, but miss the train by 1 minute. As we wait, the support crew for the Italian Police Lamborghini Gallardo [#111] parks behind in an Audi RS6, followed by Aidan and Jodie Kidd in the Lamborghini Murcielago [#4] and Alex Roy in the GUARDIA CIVIL M5 [#44]. Not doing bad then I guess. We share the carriage with Steve and Kate, who Cov calls Michelle for most of the trip] in their bright yellow 911Turbo3.6 [#19] with the reg plate BIG YLO, along with the red 360spyder [#47] of a jolly looking chap and ‘THAT GIRL’ as she is called on the Gumball site (Stacey Gunshon).

Sunday 15th May

The drive to the Acoz checkpoint is easy and we make great progress. We fuel up and change drivers just outside of the town, at which point we hit grid lock. 100,000 people are outside of the castle with cars parked on both sides of the road makes it impossible to pass. Tris sets off on foot and after an hour we have collected the route card and plan to set straight off to Prague. We will get some food at the next petrol stop.

Driving through Germany the weather turns and the rain is treacherous. We slow to an easy pace but still manage to pass a load of Gumballers, notably the Rainbow Lamborghini Diablo [#65] and the silver McLaren SLR [#48]. Patches of standing water send the car aquaplaning, which is worrying, but we keep going. At the next fuel stop we pull alongside Cap and Pepa (Caprice the model, and Pepa, half of the 1980’s rap band Salt N Pepa) in their Porsche 911 Turbo [#2]. We buy them breakfast and Tris pulls out his pocket video camera to interview the girls. Caprice has driven the whole stint so far, but skipped Acoz following a tip-off from the crew. She didn’t enjoy the rain on this leg, causing her to reduce the speed from 120mph to 60mph. Pepa will take over from here.

Cov is too tired to drive so Tris continues on to Prague. We reach Prague at 12pm on Sunday and are ready for a beer. Unfortunately the bar man isn’t in too much of a hurry so we repay him by doing a runner before the bill is paid. [Sorry mate]. The night is quite subdued once we have all filled ourselves with the buffet, and Martin and Paul from the Rally Raid car [#49] call it a night. The remaining crowd decide to continue with a night on the town, even though the Gumball crew have advised all of a change of plan, due to the Czech-Republic winning the hockey that evening. We all set-off to Goldfinger, a famous nightclub escorting Kayleigh [Nuts Girl/FHM HSH2004], Caprice and Pepa to the club with the rest of the boys (Dean and Oli from the Porsche 911 GT3 RS [#14]; Tom from the Porsche 911 Turbo Cab [#66]; the NUTS team in the Honda Civic Type R [#113] plus a number of others). Great night with enough entertainment to fill a whole article, so you will just have to catch one of the Tristec team so they can bore you stupid, and maybe show you the video.

Monday 16th May

Following 3 hours sleep we set off from Prague at 10am on the leg to Vienna. As we load the car outside of the hotel we see that the Ferrari 355 Spyder [#92], driven by Luke and Ray from Australia, is under the weather and displaying a water retention issue with a pool of cooling fluid under the car. Luckily we are prepared and bless the car with our holy water before sprinting off to Austria. On the route we meet up with the Pontiac GTO [#38]; matt-black Buick [#39] and Porsche Turbo [#2]. We decide that this is a good opportunity to collect some funds for the Tristec church on the silver tray we managed to extract from the hotel. Unfortunately it’s quite difficult to hit a 4 inch diameter tray at 90 mph so, after a number of failed attempts, we decide to chase the Dodge Viper [#46] for a few miles. At this point we notice the misfire and realise that the two GPS systems are disagreeing with our route, so we stop at the next petrol station.

It is a good job that we stop. Nothing to do with the misfire, or the direction we were travelling. No, a piece of rubber tubing from inside of the offside rear wheel arch has come loose and is rubbing on the tyre wall. It has clearly added a shine to the surface and could have caused a blowout if we had not noticed. With some help from the locals Tris fixes the bodywork within an hour and we set-off.

Unfortunately the engine gets worse and it feels like we have lost a bank of cylinders. Oil consumption is ‘through the roof’ and the car can only crawl along at 60mph. Thankfully we are close to the Dodge Ram support truck, which follows us into the Vienna checkpoint at a snails pace. We make the call to Terry and Harry to ’get the SL to Vienna ASAP’, so that we can make the switch and get the GTO fixed before Monaco.

After 2 hours in Vienna we successfully make the switch and set-off to Budapest. On route we meet up with Ray and Luke in the 355Spyder [the blessing in Prague paid off] and spend time playing around with a biker who has tagged along for the ride. As the cars scream through the tunnels we get some great video footage. In Budapest we are greeted by a local film crew who ask, ’why have you switched cars?’ We explain the problems and then collect some money from the crowd on the silver tray. This is much easier at walking pace in a convertible.

At the hotel in Budapest we are told to dress in swimming shorts and bathrobes for the party. Obviously we need to keep the Priest outfit’s going and switch to an appropriate outfit, which we wear in the pool, following a fantastic set by the Cuban Brothers and Big Black. ‘Respect guys’.

Tuesday 17th May

4 hours sleep after e-mailing all our friends with pics. ‘Sorry guys, we know I broke a few mailboxes’. The run out of Budapest almost ends in disaster. We are sprinting past the Roller [#6] and give chase to the Nissan 350Z [#7] of Karta Healy and Yorgo Tloupas at 155mph when a red van decides to overtake. It takes all the power of the SL’s brakes to stop, but we make it. It was all worthwhile when Yorgo confirms he noticed the Mercs plate through the rear view mirror [have a go yourself on the pic from Vienna].

Lets take it easy on this stretch. The roads reduce to single lanes running through small towns so we decide to pull over, refuel and change into the Tristec sponsored Thomas Wilson Club football kit to cool off. As we join the road we see an Enzo [#57], F40 [#74] and F430 [#18] speed past closely followed by the Stretch Hummer [#5]. We quickly jump onto the train of cars and take some great footage of the cars cutting through the traffic.

As we cross into Croatia we are given a new motorway to play with. No traffic and the 155 limiter all the way. Cap and Pepa comment on the speed at which we pass their car doing 120. We settle into a comfortable stride with Mustafa in his BMW 6 series convertible [#34]. Unfortunately the fuel consumption at 155 isn’t great, so we receive the warning light, and slow to refill the take with the reserve can. This allows us to get to the petrol station just outside of our next stop at Kaka Falls, where we stop the road to help bump start Alan and Neil’s old brown 911 [#88].

After the lunch break Cov takes the wheel and we immediately hit single lane traffic. As we are on target for the 11pm Ferry, we take it easy following the cars, until a Testarossa and fleet of Porsche fly past. Cov immediately follows and crosses the solid white line. The police immediately pull us over and deliver a fine for EURO75. At least we have a driving license, unlike Cliff in the Porsche [#108] behind. ‘Oh dear’. After a further 10 minutes we are pulled again, this time for speeding. Cov isn’t having a good day. Thankfully they let us go with a warning, so we take their picture and leave.

We make Dubrovnik in good time; however finding the entrance to the main square is impossible. The locals are not over keen to help, but finally we manage to enter through the rear gate. Tris gives an interview to the local TV station before we enjoy some food and drink ahead of boarding the ferry at 11pm. On the ferry we spend most of the night talking with Russ [Clemente Rodriguez of the Cuban Brothers] and Mark Tether of the Gumball Crew, followed by a heated debate with Bez and the boys and Julia [a producer] about the origin of Tris’ accent. ‘REDCAR not HULL I can assure you’. Thankfully Tris has Thorsten on his side, but as he is from Germany, this didn’t help too much.

Wednesday 18th May

After 3 hours sleep we leave the Ferry at Bari in good time but inevitably get over excited and chase a few fast cars, which forces an urgent fuel stop. Doh. After a small detour we rejoin the route to find a major crash has backed up the traffic. Gumballers are performing u-turns so we follow, and try to set the GPS for a new route. At the next junction, which has three options, the Samba VW Campervan [#80] goes left, the S class Merc [#118] goes straight ahead, and we turn right. One of us must be right. The remainder of the drive to Sicily is incident free and we join the queue for the ferry behind the Samba VW [guess we should have turned left], and followed by the Aston DB5 [#30]

On the next stretch we thunder through the tunnels of Sicily in convoy with the Samba VW, which we discover has a Porsche engine, undertaking and overtaking the traffic. Great fun. Once at the hotel we have a great meal and then set off into town, where we meet up with the GI JESUS grew from the Ice Cream Van [#61], Kym Mazelle, Fiona McLeod and the Cubans. At 4:30am we head to bed, after convincing the Ice Cream van crew to set-off now. They do and it takes us until 100 miles outside of Rome to catch them.

Thursday 19th May

Another good night, with 4 hours sleep. The drive to Rome is known to be most treacherous, which it clearly proves today. The roads are inconsistent with speeds dropping from 130kph to 40kph within only a few hundred metres. The rain is heavy in places, so we put the roof up on the SL for the first time. Half way to Rome and the traffic stops just ahead of a sharp right hand corner. As we crawl around the corner we see the door of a white Lamborghini Murcielago [#31] open, and clearly facing the wrong way. Oh dear, must be a fellow Gumballer. We drop the roof on the SL to get a clearer view. The traffic cannot move due to the recovery vehicle, so we get out of the car and walk towards the wreckage. Tris interviews the driver on video before Cov collects a piece of the front spoiler as a memento. Cov speaks Italian, and hears the police discussing a speed of 200kph due to the skid marks, and also that they want the driver to admit a speed. Cov tells the driver to say nothing if he does not want to spend the night in a cell. A lift in a Bentley Continental is agreed so all is well.

Luke and Ray are behind our car in the 355 Spyder [with their roof still up] and we all agree that driving slowly is the order for this stretch. Twenty minutes down the road we pass the Ice Cream Van. The heavens open and we have a choice of getting wet, or driving too fast for the conditions to keep the rain out of the car. We pull into the hard shoulder and experience the longest, and wettest, 20 seconds of our lives as the roof slowly unfolds. Luke and Ray are laughing as they slowly drive past; they didn’t drop their hood at the Lamborghini incident. Later, they tell us that they shouted ’I thought God was your co-pilot!’ as they crawled past.

Now God isn’t somebody to fool with, as Luke and Ray are about to discover. Less than 10 minutes down the road the traffic suddenly slows. ’Oh no, what can it be this time?’. We see Luke walking along the hard shoulder in a state of shock, with the 355spyder blocking a lane of the motorway. We jump out and check that they are OK, just as Daryl Hannah’s Ranger Rover [#03] and the GI JESUS Ice cream van pull over to offer a lift. Tris interviews both Luke and Ray whilst Cov collects another momento (section
of front bumper). The rescue Mercedes is getting kind of full now. We set off again at a slow pace to Rome.

The party in Rome is fantastic. As we arrive at the entrance we see that we are sharing the place with the STAR WARS premier and the red carpet is full of the characters from the film. We party ’like it’s your birthday’ that night, which is fine as from 12 midnight it was Tris’ birthday, and Tris shows the world how to perform the perfect Air Guitar routine on his knees, recognised by most of you I am sure.

Friday 20th May

We depart Rome for Florence at 11:30am, following some technical difficulties. The traffic is great and gets out of the way, including the Ferrari Enzo, which has lost it’s buddy, the F40, with a broken turbo. We arrive in Florence by 1:30pm with no problems and sit down for dinner with Cov’s Dad [Angelo] and brother [Luciano] who have driven from their home in Loro Cluffenna 30 minutes away.

At 3:00pm we decide we must head off to Monaco. The GTO is ready outside Genova and both of our wives are already in Monaco. As we enter the Autostrada we notice it is totally solid, so we decide to head south to Sienna and cut through the mountains to Pisa before re-joining the Autostrada to Monaco. This decision costs 2 hours. Oops. When we reach the Autostrada we are surprised to pass the Viper but subsequently get lost in Genova. We successfully switch back to the GTO, which is looking lovely and running well, and head into Monaco by 9pm. Unfortunately we cannot get into Casino Square, so head to the Yacht.

The Friday party on the yacht is for Gumball drivers only, so it takes some effort to get our wives aboard, but we are successful in the end, and party right through until 9am on Saturday morning.

Saturday 21st May

The party on Saturday is open to anybody who can find the yacht, so it is fun watching the other yachts acting like pirates and boarding our vessel. Another great night. Tris gets Archerio Mantovani of the Cuban Brothers on video to confirm that he is also from REDCAR and lived in the house that was ‘up in the air’ at Devon Close from the age of 4 till 8, and not Kent Close as he thought in Sicily. Proof that REDCAR exists and Tris isn’t from HULL. Bit spooky really as Tris’ baby sitter and family friend between the age of 5 and 9 lived in the house ‘up in the air’ at Kent Close [Jacqui with a daughter called Bonnie for those of you from Redcar]

Sunday 22nd May

The race is cracking but we are starting to feel the effects of 19 hours sleep over 7 days, so take it easy. At Flashman’s bar following the race we overhear a group of lads commenting on the scruffy interior of the Gumball stickered GTO that is parked in their carpark, which makes us laugh. At this point Tris spots Les Charneca from the Ferrari Challenge, who is also a member of Beaver racing in the Uniroyal FunCup. He is in Monaco with his wife and Phil Nuttal who smashed the 355 up at Oulton Park in April. We exchange stories before heading out for a meal. The sea is choppy so boarding the yacht isn’t much fun.

Monday 23rd May

As we check-in to the heliport, to return to the real world, we look over our shoulder and see an old face from the past. Mark Goodyear is also travelling to Newcastle today following an equally enjoyable trip to the GP. All in all a great trip. Now let’s plan the perfect car for next years trip, which travels around the globe in 8 days with 1000 miles in Europe, 1000 miles in China and 1000 miles in the USA. It’s going to be a riot.

Tris